Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize