Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She needs sedatives and a leash
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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