I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just tell him i said nine months
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize