This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
