I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
