why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
