But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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