State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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