i barfeds in our rink
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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