Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
