I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
