What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You left your phone here
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