they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
