What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
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