I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
