I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
