I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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