Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
