yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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