we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
