Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
