theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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