i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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