16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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