Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if only i could text you this smell
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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