drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize