If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
