So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize