I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
