Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
