Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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