My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
