the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
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Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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