In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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