Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
