My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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