Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
