Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
