Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
