my mouth tastes like poor choices
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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