I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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