My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
