Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
