I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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