Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
