I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
high people should be assigned attendants
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
