What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
