I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
