Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize