We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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