Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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