when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
