he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize