i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
