Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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