i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
