From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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