Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
