dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
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pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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Your shirt... Was in my pants
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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